Best Of’s – Movie Coaches

Jimmy Dugan


Making a Best Of’s list can tricky.  When doing players, games, coaches, etc, often times there is data or stats to back up my claim.  When doing movie coaches, you don’t have that luxury.  It’s very subjective.

So what makes a movie coach great?  A great acting job?  A comedic performance?  A great coaching performance?  The odds they overcame?  For the sake of this list, I tried to incorporate all aspects.  And like I said, it’s very subjective.


So, here is my top 10.  Tell me who I missed!


Honorable Mention - Patches O'Houlihan
Patches O'Houlihan
Movie – Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Accomplishment – A dodgeball legend himself, O’Houlihan “coached” the Average Joe’s team, which was severely lacking in talent, and took them all way to the Las Vegas Dodgeball Tournament Championship
Quotes – “If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!”; “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”; “Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.”


10. Irv Blitzer
Irv Blitzer

Movie – Cool Runnings
Accomplishment – A former Olympic bobsled champion himself, Blitzer takes four Jamaican sprinters, who have never been in a bobsled, and leads them all the way to the 1988 Winter Olympics
Quotes – “Oh, yeah, just one little drawback to this delightful winter sport. The high-speed crash. Ooh! That hurt. Always remember, your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no, no. They shatter.”; “It's not so much the heat, it's the humidity that'll kill you.”; “Not only are they going to qualify, they're going to turn some heads doing it. Listen, three of these guys can run the hundred in under ten-flat. I don't care who you are, that's lightning.”


9. Chubbs Peterson
Chubbs Peterson
– Happy Gilmore
Accomplishment – After a chance encounter at the batting cages, Chubbs takes Happy, a young (bad) hockey player, and turns him into a professional golfer, culminating in a Tour Championship victory over foe Shooter McGavin
Quotes – “Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my hand off!”; “Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.”; “Spoken like a true asshole.”


8. Mr. Miyagi
Mr. Miyagi
– The Karate Kid (franchise)
Accomplishment – After saving Daniel from a savage beating, Mr. Miyagi teaches him karate (both mentally and physically), culminated by Daniel winning the All-Valley Karate Championships against Johnny (his former bully)
Quotes – “Wax on... Wax off, wax on... wax off.”; “No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher. Teacher say, student do.”; “First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule Daniel-San, not mine.”


7. Gordon Bombay
Gordon Bombay
– The Mighty Ducks, D2, & D3
Accomplishment – After being arrested for drunk driving and forced to coach a youth hockey team (community service), Bombay takes a rag-tag bunch of kids and leads the Mighty Ducks to the State Championship (and later the Junior Goodwill Games)
Quotes – “Now here's the long and the short of it: I hate hockey and I don't like kids.”; “They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I'm proud to be a Duck, and I'd be proud to fly with any one of you. So how about it? Who's a Duck?”; “You may make it. You may not. But that doesn't matter, Charlie. What matters is that we're here. Look around. Who ever thought we'd make it this far. 1 2 3 Triple Deke. Take your best shot. I believe in you, Charlie. Win or lose.”


6. Mickey Goldmill
Mickey Goodmill
– Rocky, Rocky II, & Rocky III
Accomplishment – Takes a raw and inexperienced fighter, Rocky Balboa, and trains him to become the boxing champion of the world
Quotes – ““I want you to try to chase this little chicken””; “Get up you son of a bitch, 'cause Mickey loves ya”; “I love you, kid.”


5. Lou Brown
Lou Brown
– Major League & Major League II
Accomplishment – Despite an owner who desperately wants the team to lose, Brown leads the Indians and their cast of misfits to the Playoffs and eventually the World Series
Quotes – “Forget about the curve ball Ricky, give him the heater.”; “You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.”; “Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "ole" bullshit!”


4. Jimmy Dugan
Jimmy Dugan
– A League Of Their Own
Accomplishment – After alcohol problems derail his playing career, he reluctantly takes on coaching an all-woman’s baseball team, leading the Rockford Peaches all the way to the World Series
Quotes – “Ballplayers. I don't have ballplayers, I've got girls. Girls are what you sleep with after the game, not, not what you coach during the game.”; “Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!”; “Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with a little hat on?”

3. Norman Dale
Norman Dale
– Hoosiers
Accomplishment – Dale takes over a small school basketball team, and despite the townspeople’s protests against his approach, he leads the Hickory Huskers to the Indiana State Championship over the heavily favored South Bend Central Bears
Quotes – “Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important than the other.”; “First of all, let's be real friendly here, okay? My name is Norm. Secondly, your coaching days are over.”; “Welcome to Indiana basketball.”


2. Herman Boone
Herman Boone
– Remember The Titans
Accomplishment – Taking over a football team in a city where racial tensions were still a major issue, Boone took his Titans and it’s multi-racial squad all the way to the Football State Championship
Quotes – “This is no democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am the law.”; “I'm not gonna talk to you tonight about winnin' and losin'. You're already winners 'cause you didn't kill each other up at camp.”; “I'm a winner. I'm going to win.”


1. Herb Brooks
Herb Brooks
– Miracle
Accomplishment – Already a successful college coach, Brooks assembled Team USA Hockey…broke them down to only build them back up, and led them to an impossible upset victory over the heavily favored Soviet Union on their way to the Gold Medal
Quotes – “I'll be your coach, I won't be your friend. If you need one of those, take it up with Doc or Coach Patrick.”; “Who do you play for?”; “When you pull on that jersey, you represent yourself and your teammates. And the name on the front is a hell of a lot more important than the one on the back! Get that through your head!”; “Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, we are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.”


Now, tell me what you think!


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